WTF is radical self-belonging?Jan 02, 2023
Do you ever have a sneaking suspicion that the way that you operate in the world is not actually how you could operate at the height of your potential?
I’m not talking about productivity. I'm not talking about doing more in less time, or cramming your schedule chock-full of activities and people and expecting happiness and inner peace in return. (I suspect you’ve already tried this and keep feeling worse for the wear—that’s why you’re here.)
No, what I’m talking about is a way of being, a way of being with yourself, a way of feeling about yourself. A subtle and profound state of being that shifts everything about how you experience and interact with the world.
This may sound vague, so indulge me for a moment and take a quick stroll down memory lane. Maybe you remember as a child being in nature somewhere in a park or a field, and feeling a sense of peace, an ease that just felt wholly natural. A sense of being in your body, of power that wasn’t about power over anyone else but power within yourself—subtle, but there. Like electricity in a closed loop—humming and thrumming and alive with potential. A time when you felt completely like yourself.
Maybe you’ve had glimpses of this in your adult life, or even longer periods of it. Where you find that suddenly, everything is just simple, and you’re present. There’s no resisting what is, there’s no fighting against anything. All the nagging voices and rowdy parts within you have settled into their little nooks and crannies, and you’re just you. Whole and complete, exactly as you are.
This is what I call radical self-belonging®, and the work I do helps people rediscover and reclaim it.
What makes radical self-belonging so special?
When you’re in a place of radical self-belonging, you’re in your power: potent, latent, infinite potential. It’s not a grasping or aggressive kind of power: it’s the power of allowing, of presence. You can see yourself and life clearly. The mind chatter is gone. The fog of anxiety or stress or overwhelm clears. Your nervous system settles. You breathe easy.
When you operate from a state of radical self-belonging, you’re free to be exactly who you are, precisely because you’re not rejecting *any* parts of yourself that show up. No matter how cringe-worthy they are, or how much discomfort you may feel about them, you courageously choose to show up and welcome them. By welcoming them without judgment, you begin to understand them. And when you understand them, they have much, much less power over you. That’s what’s so radical about it.
When you embody radical self-belonging, you can live from a wellspring of feeling grounded, centered, nourished, at peace, and free—at home in your body, mind, and spirit because you’ve created breathing room within yourself: a sanctuary in your own being.
And while life can—and definitely will—interrupt your sense of radical self-belonging, it is yours to come back to again and again. You can go deeper, explore further, and find respite in the enoughness of being yourself. And the more you practice coming home to yourself and feeling like you belong to yourself no matter what, the easier it becomes to tap into this state whenever you please.
When you’re in a place of radical self-belonging, it shows. No one in your life has to know the term “radical self-belonging”, because they’ll see the results in everything you do: how much you glow, how present you are, your ability to show up for yourself, your career, and your relationships in new and exciting ways.
So how do you get from where you are to radical self-belonging?
The Radical Self-Belonging® Method
After extensive research (*ahem* working with clients for years, in addition to over two decades of healing my own unconscious patterns in nearly every way imaginable) I’ve developed my Radical Self-Belonging™ Method to help you holistically change your life.
The method has five components: Body, Mindful Mindset, Spirit, Strategy, and Action. Below you’ll find a summary, some questions I ask to get you thinking about the work we can do together, and what that work might actually look like.
Radical self-belonging in your body means establishing a continual connection with your meatsuit, including it as an important source of data when making choices, and tuning into it to tend to yourself and your physical needs in any given moment.
Here are a few body questions to consider:
- Do you listen to your body or treat it as separate from you, a beast to be tamed, ignored, or pushed beyond its limits?
- What are your physical habits and how do they support or work against you?
- Where do you hold tension in your body, and what might that say about your patterns or tendencies in the rest of your life?
In our work together, we can focus on improving your relationship with your body by:
- Consciously connecting with your body and its needs
- Exploring and learning from your body’s wisdom (somatic intelligence)
- Identifying where you operate in the window of tolerance
- Practicing nervous system regulation
- Movement practices and play
When you experience radical self-belonging in your body, it feels like you’ve reclaimed it: you’re more grounded and are able to fully care for it in ways that make a huge difference in your daily life.
Radical self-belonging in your mindset means being deeply present and holding a non-judgemental attitude toward your thoughts and beliefs, having habits and tools at your disposal that help you come back to center, and freeing yourself from worry and overthinking.
Here are a few mindset questions to consider:
- Do your thoughts rule your life, and do you take them as gospel even when they’re not helpful or supportive?
- Are you constantly reacting to others like a sea anemone getting poked over and over?
- Is there space within you to respond to life from a place of calm?
In our work together, we can strengthen and support your mind by:
- Applying mindfulness (many of our sessions will happen while you’re actively in a state of guided mindfulness)
- Establishing “the witness”–your ability to watch your thoughts come and go without getting wrapped up in them
- Identifying and working with inner critical voices and thoughts
- Transforming limiting thoughts and core beliefs that are holding you back
When you experience radical self-belonging in your mind, you can more easily notice and let go of thoughts and beliefs that aren’t serving you, manage your fear, and become your own bestie.
Radical self-belonging in your spirit means having a clear, open connection to your higher self as well as the ‘powers that be’, however you define them (the ocean, Love, deities, the Universe). You’re aligned with your intuition and how you spend your energy.
Here are a few spirit questions to consider:
- Do you have a relationship with the divine? What’s it like–do you feel good about it?
- Are you in touch with your subtle energy shifts, and managing your energy as you interact with others?
- Do you feel connected from a sense of oneness and unity with the world?
In our work together, we can strengthen your spiritual practice by:
- Guiding you into an altered state of consciousness (deep mindfulness) to connect with your higher self
- Developing your intuition and discerning it vs. fear
- Managing your energy through visualization practices
- Working with chakras
- Supporting awakening and spiritual experiences
When you experience radical self-belonging in spirit, you feel empowered and cared for by something greater than yourself. You know that what’s at your core—your soul—is constant and it can bring immense relief, support, and joy.
Radical self-belonging in your strategy means taking a birds-eye view of your life and practically analyzing what’s working and what needs to change. You become more clear-headed and objective about your life. You suddenly have a map to make big changes you’ve been longing for, and change doesn’t seem as daunting as it did.
Here are a few questions to consider in your relationship with your life:
- How do you feel about your relationships, work, family, community, fun, purpose?
- Are there areas where you could use a new approach, which might serve you better than your current one?
- Do you need a sounding board to talk through big decisions in your career and identify decisions that would get you closer to what you really want?
In our work together, we can strategically strengthen the structure of your life by:
- Doing a full-picture life assessment
- Identifying, setting, and maintaining boundaries
- Career planning and coaching
- Clarifying and moving toward your purpose
- Setting achievable goals and outlining practical steps on how to achieve them
When you experience radical self-belonging and the different parts of your life are strategically aligned, things naturally tend to flow better and you feel happier and more at peace.
Radical self-belonging in your actions means bringing new strategies to life. Instead of overperforming or avoiding, you work toward finding balance in doing enough. If BODY, MINDFUL MINDSET and SPIRIT are more about being, STRATEGY and ACTION are about the doing.
Here are a few questions to consider on taking action:
- What actions do you need to take in order to create a more spacious life?
- What habits are you wanting to build that you need someone to touch base with?
- What kind of accountability would support you in moving forward without burning out?
In our work together, I can support you in moving forward and making your ideal life a reality by:
- Helping you take intentional, strategic action (not doing all the things all at once)
- Holding you accountable every week
- Providing you with home practices: reflection, journaling, fun & healing activities
- Supporting you in building habits that serve you
When you experience radical self-belonging in your actions, you’re not frantically running around willy-nilly: you’re enacting a plan, step by step, with me by your side to make sure you get where you’re headed.
These five components overlap and weave in and out of each other, depending on what you bring to any given session. If you want to transform your life–and you in it–this method is a powerful and holistic way to make that happen.
The Radical Self-Belonging® Method is fundamentally somatic and experiential.
This means that if we work together, in addition to talking *about* your challenges and your thoughts around your challenges, much of the time we’ll be mindfully exploring what’s coming up for you in *this* moment, and often in your body, around your topic of choice. I’m gonna be real with you: this is a very different approach than your average coach, and it’s one that my clients have found to be incredibly powerful in swiftly yet gently getting to the core of their issues.
Will we also brainstorm, strategize, and do fun purely cognitive things? For suuuure. But the core of the work, and where my clients have seen the most profound change is in using mindfulness and somatic exploration to study and transform your inner world.
Intrigued? Confused? Excited? If you’ve never done this kind of somatic, experiential work before, I’d love to answer any questions you have. Book a discovery session with me and we’ll walk through what’s going on in your life and how I can support you.
You can sign up for a call here.
—Caitlin “Belonging to Yourself is Radical” Clarke
Want to break free from the limiting beliefs that are holding you back?